Journal Entry – July 2008 – final entry
Of this section!!
The next journal will be for me.
I am right. I need to analyse me now, to always understand where I am. Years ago I used to keep a diary, this will the same, I am going to keep a journal about me now.
The ‘drama’ of me and Rich is now over for me, The scars are there but the immediate thought is “I am bored with it now!!”.
This made me smile because I can assure you that it was not over; we still had a long long way to go and had a lot of learning to do.
I understand the need I had to do this: I had not written in my journal (I called it a ‘Test of Time’) since the one entry in May after our return from France. Over the year I had come to realise just how much ‘The War’ had permeated out lives; everything seemed to be about it and linked to it. I know now that it wasn’t. The TV going wrong or the car breaking down had nothing to do with it; but when you are caught up in the aftermath of infidelity everything that happens takes you back down the road to the infidelity, everything must have been about that!
I’d had enough, and could see that; however despite starting a new journal of course ‘The War’ came up over and over again. But this time the entries in the many journals I would go on to keep over these twelve years showed less and less of the aftermath of infidelity and more and more of recovery and how we moved forward. So now I will share them with you and they will continue to include all of the small things that we took on board from each other and from other people that life sent us along the way.
Only you can decide if you want to do that too.