Changing names: but the story is still mine.

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Some of you may have noticed that suddenly Rosie Joseph is the author of this blog. So I thought that I would write to explain why I have changed my name and to clarify that is is in no way to hide what has happened to me. The simple reason is I have had to change my name because my publisher told me to!

I have written about people who are still alive.  I have been honest (always) and used our names because I felt passionately that people who experience infidelity, betrayal, and affair or whatever you want to call it, should not feel ashamed of what has happened: They have nothing to be ashamed of.

I also believe that if more people told people what they were experiencing then they would not feel so lonely. I was lucky I had a good group of people who supported me throught it all; but I also experienced some people saying to me things like ‘no wonder your husband fucked someone else.” Or the other good one was “you should keep that to yourself if won’t benefit other people knowing what has happened to  you.”

Firstly I don’t give a fuck about people telling me how my husband fucked someone else; in fact only recently on what is supposed to be a supportive FB site someone felt the need to say it to me, and also how I should leave him! Even now, even all these years later!

Secondly I don’t think that people should be made to feel that they should keep it to themselves, Why? So other people don’t feel uncomfortable? I know that some people feel so lost and alone when something like infidelity comes to call, and feeling as if they should keep it to themselves just makes them feel as if they are drowing in despairl with an underlying fear that it will all come out in the open at some point in the future. I understand that people want to keep it to themselves; and that is their perogative and should be allowed to them; but I also feel that it should be people’s perogative to share with others if they want to without being berated or fearful of what people may say.

But sadly I get libel: I get that if my book is successful there may be people who would find it appropriate to knock on people’s doors or contact them; and that for me is something much more serious than being sued! So I have bowed to convention. My blog and all I wrote is the same; the only things that have changed are our names, others and the location of where it all happened. But the story is the same and what I share is what happened.

So let me introduce you to Rosie Joseph and her husband Danny. For people who know my husband the name he has chosen for himself will make them giggle, given that he is an avid fan of a well known English actor!

I suppose if it was good enough for the Bronte sisters then it should be good enough for me!

I hope that you will all understand and still read my story.

Rosie (Oops nearly signed off with another name then!)

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4 comments

  1. I was open to talk about what happened right after it happened when I was in shock and certain of my choice to divorce. Now that we’re back together, I don’t talk and I either avoid certain social circles or don’t include my wife because of things I’ve told them previously. I guess I feel I’d have to explain my choices or feel embarrassment as I wonder about their assumptions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Jack, my blog has been successful and my book will hopefully be the same, but Libel aside I have seen people on other sites hunt spouses down & troll them. I do have to consider the people in our story, especially those who behaved badly, because they could be targeted. I said to my sister

      Liked by 1 person

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