The Background story – Making a new life and there are clouds on the horizon…

clouds on the horizon

2004 – 2006

Over time we got to know all of the neighbours and we would occasionally go out with the couple who lived near to us.

I had been warned by other women to be careful of ‘Her’, because she always seemed to be after somebody’s husband or partner. I was not worried because I knew that Danny  loved me so much;  I was safe, we were safe.

From looking at ‘Her’  it came across to me that ‘She’ was the type of woman that flirted with every man because ‘She’ had to know that every man fancied ‘Her’, believing that ‘She’ could get one over on any other woman especially the wife!

But I knew that Danny loved me so much.  I had never had anyone love me as much as Him,  and I knew that he would never stray…. Or I thought I knew…..

We started to go out with them often, and would go to parties at their house where ‘She’ and Danny would go outside together for a cigarette. Despite my confidence in Danny I did warn him to be careful of ‘Her’, because it was clear that she fancied him. Danny just shrugged off the idea that ‘She’ liked him, and said that I had nothing to worry about as nobody could take him away from me; and I believed him.

In the June of 2006 our boiler went wrong, we came home from the beach one evening and there was water everywhere. ‘She’ offered for us to use their shower whilst we were waiting for the part to fix it. We were conscious of not intruding on their hospitality and went over there separately to shower; I can remember now how Danny was gone for a long while; and even then I had my doubts; I should have listened.

In the July of 2006 we went to their house for a drink. ‘She’ was not there but when ‘Her’ partner called ‘Her’ and told ‘Her’ we were there ‘She’ rushed home and went upstairs to get changed. When ‘She’ came downstairs ‘She’ was dressed in silky pyjamas. ‘They’re nice pyjamas, are they new?” Danny said.

I look back now and can see so much.

There were other times when alarm bells rang:

At a party at their house in the July of 2006,  and I was talking in the kitchen and came outside to see ‘Her’ dragging Danny onto the makeshift dancefloor that had been  set up in the garden. I went over and pulled Danny away; I was angry with him because  we had talked about  ‘Her’ behaviour towards him only that morning, and how it was clear that she fancied him. Danny had just laughed; but it hurt me that he had agreed to dance with ‘Her’. Alarm bells were ringing, and I wasn’t listening.

I trusted Danny.

Didn’t I?

For our wedding anniversary, Danny bought me a red glass heart, the card with it said to take care of it because it held his love for me. Little did I know how fragile that love really was.

We often had parties at our house and planned a big party for Halloween in 2006. But by this time I had started to grow uneasy about Danny and ‘Her’. They seemed to be having more and more smoking time outside, leaving me with ‘Her’ partner. ‘She’ seemed to be more and more competitive towards me, she lost weight and would suggest that our heights were measured because she was at least two inches taller than me. I had let myself go, weighed well over fifteen stone, and had started to feel insecure about my looks.

On the day of our party Danny and I  had a serious talk about ‘Her’ behaviour and how she was making me feel. I asked Danny to be careful of ‘Her’, that I thought she was trying to cause trouble between us. He just laughed and said that I had nothing to worry about; he had bought me a new dress to wear at the party, with a pair of black leather calf length boots so that I could dress up as a glamorous witch.

But on the night of the party ‘She’ arrived dressed as a black cat, with shorts on and black cat ears.   As the party wore on I could not find Danny anywhere, eventually I found him sitting on the sofa with ‘her’ sitting on his lap! I had drunk so much I went mad, and pulled ‘her’ off.

Danny and I argued and I told Danny that if I ever found out that he was cheating on me I would do it back to him tenfold and I would always have my revenge. I stormed out of the party, but Danny did not come after me, which he had always done in the past. In the pit of my stomach I knew that we needed to get out of our relationship with ‘Them.’

By now my gut was screaming at me, and I was ignoring it! What had happened to me?

Rosie

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

gut feelings

8 comments

    • Yep! And I know now, that a lot of anger I felt was at myself, took a long time to realise and accept that.
      Thanks for reading this, I know fir some this part is hard to read, but essential to understand how we got to where we are today. In Ruch’s words he was ‘ a c**t!’. He was but he’s not now. Keep reading.
      Moisy x

      Liked by 2 people

    • Naive, maybe. But why shouldn’t we have been?! Looking back, most of us did see the waving flags, we just didn’t know what colour they were or what they meant. But again, why would we?! I have felt foolish and stupid, but what has bothered me more was wondering how stupid and foolish my husband believed me to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I felt like that at first, but as time moved on I realised that it was his own stupidity that thought I was stupid, and my stupidity was allowing them to think it.
        Moisy x

        Like

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