Once upon a time, when I thought life was really a Fairytale I thought that Danny completed me. I was wrong.
Firstly in the fact that my life wasn’t over and I would change and evolve. So how could someone else complete me at that time? It simply wasn’t possible and it still isn’t possible today, because I will continue to evolve until the end of my life.
Secondly because the only person who was guaranteed to be with me all my life was me, so how could someone else complete me?
I have learned that nobody can ‘complete’ us. They can be part of our life, help us evolve and grow, teach us things as part of the relationship, but they cannot complete us.
Thirdly I should never have expected that from anyone. It was an impossible task.
But how many of us, through our lives, believe that someone else is responsible to make us complete?
Recently, during a conversation on Twitter someone said how they would ‘always have that sadness, how it would always be there for the betrayed.’
I don’t have that sadness anymore, and I reassured the person that was the case. I don’t dwell, what would I achieve from that?
As part of the conversation I said this…
‘It takes a lot of time, and for us, in the first 5 yrs a lot of effort. But it also took a lot (a ton in fact) of reflection for me. I was the strong personality, I had to understand my own head so it didn’t run away with me.’
You see like most people I believed that what we had was a fairytale. So when the wicked witch came onto our lives I didn’t believe anything could damage us, because we were a fairytale. Stupid really, because all fairytales have a dark side and a lesson to learn.
My lesson from all of this was to understand myself. Understand that I could always look after myself, and to not fear that we may not survive, because I would survive whatever the outcome.
My lesson was to understand just how daunting it can be, choosing to love me. Because I could leave, I could always up my game, and if you are insecure as Danny was, and still can be sometimes, that is a frightening prospect at times ….. loving me.
My lesson was to let go of my ego, to not care what others thought about letting Danny come back.
But most important of all was to not care what my ego thought about letting Danny come back and trying again, where I was concerned. I think it’s fair to say that was the hardest one. I learned that The Demon was in fact my ego.
All of the things I learned from the hardest experience of my life, was that I didn’t need Danny to ‘complete me’, I just wanted him in my life to enjoy the things he brought to the table.
I cannot stress enough to those with a broken heart who have palpitations from their racing heart, and tears permanently in their eyes, that all of things in life are a lesson, and reflection is the tool they need to recover and become a stronger person. A person who finds that although they love the person they are choosing to reconcile with, that person does not complete them, only they do that.
If you are able to reflect and understand that then you will not feel sadness in the following years, you will feel freedom, whether your relationship survives or not.
I would love to hear your feedback.